親愛的，我把英文變有趣了：英文笑話選集


	．12年國教英語課外補充教材　　這是英文笑話選集。作者是明星高中退休的英文老師，曾任教師大附中，他所蒐集和挑選的英文笑話，乃針對國中、高中職學生程度的字彙和文法，內容可分為童言童語篇、親子篇、師生篇、夫妻篇、醫病篇、顧客篇等，是很好的英語課外補充教材。不但適合家長買給學生看，也很合適已經踏出校門多年的父母親，跟著孩子一起學英文。　　英文比你想的要好玩，比你想的更好笑！　　每天一則笑話，　　笑一笑，學習英文也會變有趣。　　題目很簡單，答案卻很難　　Dad: “How were the exam questions?” 　　Eva: “Easy. But the answers were tough.” 　　Joe: I lost my dog. 　　May: Why don’t you put an ad in the newspaper? 　　Joe: It’s ridiculous. He can’t read. 　　Ballet student: Why do all the students here dance on their tiptoes? 　　Teacher: That’s how we dance here. 　　Ballet student: Why don’t you get taller students? 　　Alfred: Why do witches ride brooms? 　　Angela: Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy to fly. 　　Mrs. Lee: How many years have you been married? 　　Mrs. Lin: More than ten years. 　　Mrs. Lee: You must have many things in common, then. 　　Mrs. Lin: Only one. That is, we got married on the same day. 作者簡介揚歌（Younger）　　本名楊國明，1956年生，國立臺灣師範大學英語系畢業，曾任教國、高中近三十載，2006年自國立台灣師大附中退休，之後考上國立台北教育大學文教法律研究所，於2012年6月順利畢業。　　作者手持教鞭之餘，一直勤於翻譯、編著和創作各類書籍，已出版作品共五十餘冊，包括《讀英文看人生》、《一生能有幾次選擇》、《心中的信用卡》、《課堂外的第一名》、《最後的一堂課》等。在本社出版有《不要NG 只要ING》以及《中學生了沒？──英文腦筋急轉彎》。


	目錄 Part I 童言童語 On and off TV Knitting sheep Waiting for the film to come Killing the Dead Sea Thicker than water Writing so slowly Forgetting to shake Swimming since four Having to come down anyway Too heavy to fly Stopping the merry-go-round Free lighting Losing the glasses Not able to add Not imagining Deep or shallow Going blind in begging A dirty joke Telling the future with cards No horse to sing Jumping to be killed Never getting on with anybody The face in the same place The dentist and the tooth The letter not saying anything Saying the password first First day of school Beauty and Lucky Something in my mouth Falling off a ladder A tail without a body Too small to jump higher The dog not able to read Seeing through walls The dog scratching Drawing the heaven A marshmallow and a pillow Speaking German The freezing candle and words Having no teeth The same birthday every year To scare the ghosts away How to get to the other side Answering the iron A plain clothes police dog Forgetting his name The principal’s daughter Stripe and Spot A ten-to-zero game Smart gum Pushing the bell with your elbow Part II 爸媽冏很大 My dirty shoes Too dark to see the light The wrong feet The tough answers Having teeth in the pocket Never wearing alligator shoes Wearing glasses when sleeping Giving your fish fresh water The broken watch To know how I look when sleeping A new penny and an old nickel Happened before I was born A father's gray hair Green cheeks A whole plate of money Wrong number The report card A selfish boy Not able to read Writing more clearly Signing with eyes closed Triplets and twins Worries being over Spring, Summer, Fall and John God using the bathroom Looking like a monkey Five thousand for a movie The most beautiful mother Watering the flowers in the rain Doing arithmetic with apples Punishing your son To marry Grandma Promising to be good The teacher not making up his mind Using your brains to raise money Taking a bath in a saucer Part III 麻辣師生 Hitting Mary with a basketball Never walking in late Apples from a peach tree Essays from twin brothers President’s death A zero on the test Things that contain milk The sad system London Bridge falling down Perching on the hyphen Playing basketball and testing Taiwan on page ten The easy and the hard ones Big hands or small apples Lincoln’s third birthday Dancing on tiptoes Mad for something I didn't do Ten times, ten answers The game called off Rain or shine Ohio or Mississippi Doing as the sign says Doing something wrong and lying Part IV 驚世夫妻 Close relatives of a devil Cooking or not cooking Shutting all the doors The world’s worst cook A pig in the bedroom My wife and an angel His neck blowing gum Married on the same day A cough and a new dress My ex-wife and my boss The head through a button-hole Part V 顧客愛說笑 To punish the bee A refill first A fly and a spider Too young to die A chicken pizza and a hot dog The fly liking winter sports Almost everything on the menu Any soup on the menu The dog and the ticket Weak milk Changing the tablecloth Not your train A monster and the soup Eight or twelve pieces Life-size enlargements The two-dollar model car No your own food More terrible food A ham sandwich without ham Shaving my hair To check the scales Another helping for free Part VI 醫生與病人 Not overweight, but too short Not to stand inside the mouth Quickest cure for double vision Kissing the bride The Math book and headache Standing on your head First operation Connecting spots before one’s eyes Half dead Driving other patients away Madness cured Avoiding dampness A frog and a tadpole My wife and canaries The light in the refrigerator Not allowed on the couch A problem with eyesight Robins and worms A psychiatrist telling his troubles Your hereditary illness Making an appointment Waiting to lay an egg Seven days to live Not having to repeat it Good news and bad news Loosening a tooth Shaking the car Needing more iron. Part VII 五花八門 Robbing banks The ball and the net An antique collector A taxi or a dog Slow poison In jail for being romantic Honking at a post When to pay the rent Climbing up the beam A short circuit A kangaroo and her baby A snail and a turtle Singing a lullaby Breaking a leg A snake biting its tongue Sitting in each other’s shadow Milking a tractor Growing spaghetti Shopping at three in the morning The worst memory Because of the weather A cow and a horse A talkative dog In jail for feeding pigeons 25 years and 100 months A sheep learning a foreign language A baby coming from a hat An explorer and a lion Looking at the sky Texans and Alaskans Throwing and catching watches A centipede putting on shoes